Thursday, September 16, 2010

alone?

Chris left this morning for Seattle to attend the wedding of a long-time family friend, and is going to be gone for 6 days.  While I'm missing him a lot (I've already cried twice today!), I think I'm really going to relish having some alone time. 

I feel like I haven't been alone for years, and in some ways it feels like I've lost my individuality.  I went to Panera tonight and just read a novel...alone...and it felt so good.  I seriously can't remember the last time that happened. 

As soon as we get married we enter into a completely new social experience.  We are ALWAYS with someone.  Even if you aren't talking, you are physically near someone during your most private moments...and therefore, these moments cease to be private!  While there is a beautiful comfort in that companionship, it's also a pretty huge transition.

Even more than that - I have lately been surrounded by an abundance of people.  I have 25 minute class periods with 25 kids each, and sometimes have 12 different classes a day.  That's 300 people to interact with every single day!  Then I leave school to come home to mom, dad, and my grandpa.  When I'm not physically with people I'm trying to maintain long-distance relationships (Webster City people, India people, far-away friends, family members...).  It just feels like there are people everywhere.

And so, while I will miss Chris a lot, I'm going to embrace these next few days.  I'm going to lay in bed alone, go out to eat alone, go on a walk alone, maybe even go to a movie alone...

My only fear: what if I can't remember how?!

1 comment:

Bill Kinzie said...

After Jesus ministered to thousands He needed to be alone. It's a ying/yang sorta thing. Enjoy your time of separateness. Blessings! Bill
K.