Today was an interesting day.
A little back story: yesterday I went to the doctor, and found out that I am 2 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced. While I know people can stay at those numbers for quite a while, he seemed really positive about it, and thought I would have this baby fairly soon. Which of course, got my mind WHIRLING! I've been having tons and tons of braxton-hicks contractions (consistently anywhere from 3-6 an hour!), and last night had 3 "in the back" contractions. Those events combined with the doctor's news made this event feel impending!
Naturally, I became very aware of what needed to be communicated in order for me to be leave school and have things be organized. Now, I've taken care of absolutely everything that's "regular" - grades are entered, sub plans written, room cleaned, concert DVD's made and distributed, all supply orders made, portfolio done and turned in, etc. etc. etc. If I was a regular classroom teacher, I would feel like I could walk out the door at any time and things would be great! HOWEVER...
I'm a music teacher, and there are still three performances left this school year. (side note: I've already had seven performances in the last 3 weeks...ahh!). For anyone that's never put together a performance, let me assure you that there are a MILLION details that need to be figured out before a group can have a successful performance. Add in the possibility that I would need to randomly leave and someone else would take over, and there are some serious things to think through and communicate!
And so - with yesterday's news/contractions, I just wanted things to be set in stone. The only way that could happen is if we decide that Mrs. Farley WILL NOT be here. And if that's set in stone, then these are the things that need to happen.
I had originally been led to believe that I couldn't leave school before I actually went into labor. After yesterday's events though, I decided to check with the district and found out that I could. Within a matter of 30 minutes, I called Chris, talked with the superintendent, and requested that today be my last day at school.
Let me just tell you - this was really difficult for me. I'm realizing how much of an EXTREME people-pleaser I am, and as I hit the send button on my e-mail I was absolutely FILLED with dread that my administrators would think less of me for requesting to leave early, especially as there's no way they can really understand the performance-driven reasons behind my request. Even now my heart is just a mess: I'm emotional, fearful, blah blah blah, on and on and on. Lord, free my heart from this fear-of-man prison!
I think, though, that it's been approved and I am officially done at school. Seriously a whirlwind. In a matter of minutes, the "teacher" part of my identity ended and I became a stay-at-home mom indefinitely. And while I'll still be communicating back and forth with subs for the next month about all these details, I am largely done with my physical responsibilities as a teacher. Oh my!
I also think that this is going to be really good for me to have some time before this transition. The last few weeks have been physically draining, and since I've been running on adrenaline for most of it, I haven't realize how tired I am. I have a feeling that it's going to be really important for both Chris and I to let down a little bit and catch up on rest/sleep before we have to be "on" to such a mental/physical/emotional extreme during labor.
With that said, off to bed I go!
A little back story: yesterday I went to the doctor, and found out that I am 2 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced. While I know people can stay at those numbers for quite a while, he seemed really positive about it, and thought I would have this baby fairly soon. Which of course, got my mind WHIRLING! I've been having tons and tons of braxton-hicks contractions (consistently anywhere from 3-6 an hour!), and last night had 3 "in the back" contractions. Those events combined with the doctor's news made this event feel impending!
Naturally, I became very aware of what needed to be communicated in order for me to be leave school and have things be organized. Now, I've taken care of absolutely everything that's "regular" - grades are entered, sub plans written, room cleaned, concert DVD's made and distributed, all supply orders made, portfolio done and turned in, etc. etc. etc. If I was a regular classroom teacher, I would feel like I could walk out the door at any time and things would be great! HOWEVER...
I'm a music teacher, and there are still three performances left this school year. (side note: I've already had seven performances in the last 3 weeks...ahh!). For anyone that's never put together a performance, let me assure you that there are a MILLION details that need to be figured out before a group can have a successful performance. Add in the possibility that I would need to randomly leave and someone else would take over, and there are some serious things to think through and communicate!
And so - with yesterday's news/contractions, I just wanted things to be set in stone. The only way that could happen is if we decide that Mrs. Farley WILL NOT be here. And if that's set in stone, then these are the things that need to happen.
I had originally been led to believe that I couldn't leave school before I actually went into labor. After yesterday's events though, I decided to check with the district and found out that I could. Within a matter of 30 minutes, I called Chris, talked with the superintendent, and requested that today be my last day at school.
Let me just tell you - this was really difficult for me. I'm realizing how much of an EXTREME people-pleaser I am, and as I hit the send button on my e-mail I was absolutely FILLED with dread that my administrators would think less of me for requesting to leave early, especially as there's no way they can really understand the performance-driven reasons behind my request. Even now my heart is just a mess: I'm emotional, fearful, blah blah blah, on and on and on. Lord, free my heart from this fear-of-man prison!
I think, though, that it's been approved and I am officially done at school. Seriously a whirlwind. In a matter of minutes, the "teacher" part of my identity ended and I became a stay-at-home mom indefinitely. And while I'll still be communicating back and forth with subs for the next month about all these details, I am largely done with my physical responsibilities as a teacher. Oh my!
I also think that this is going to be really good for me to have some time before this transition. The last few weeks have been physically draining, and since I've been running on adrenaline for most of it, I haven't realize how tired I am. I have a feeling that it's going to be really important for both Chris and I to let down a little bit and catch up on rest/sleep before we have to be "on" to such a mental/physical/emotional extreme during labor.
With that said, off to bed I go!
2 comments:
I'm glad Eli was born in July, it's hard enough to leave music sub plans for one day, let alone a month with concerts! You'll love being a mom of boys!
Praying for you Nicole! I remember it being hard to leave my career in teaching, but it is the best job being home with your little one. I am so glad you are choosing to stay home....you will get to see every stage of your sweet son and that is priceless. :)
Post a Comment