I realize that I never really shared or processed about our foster care experience...oh boy!
There were so many contributing factors that made that time pretty stressful. First, I was in the "extreme exhaustion" phase of early pregnancy. You know, the stage where no one knows yet and you have to pretend like everything's great, but really you could sleep all day every day and still be too tired to carry on a coherent conversation?! Yep, that one. I was also in the beginning stages of my short and sweet nausea weeks, which just made for a less tolerant Nicole in general.
Second, I had just found out that I had a large ovarian cyst as a result of my pregnancy. At that point it was pretty painful and they were talking about the possibility of doing a surgery, which did NOT put my overloaded new-mama mind at ease! It's all turned out to be a big nothing, but at the time it was a definite addition to this stress mess.
Then, add in the fact that it was the beginning of the school year and both Chris and I were working full-time. It shouldn't have been a surprise to me (seeing as I KNEW we were both going to be working full-time!), but it was definitely not easy adding 3 girls to our lives and starting off a school year well.
Throw in 3 emotionally charged girls who had just been ripped away from everything they knew, and you wind up with a crazy situation for a while. It was much more difficult than I expected!
Don't get me wrong - we both LOVED the girls. Oh my word, they were so sweet...totally stole our hearts. However, there were 3 of them, and we had never been parents before! We were suddenly having 3 hungry, picky bellies to feed 3x a day...suddenly changing diapers and sheets from bed wettings...suddenly learning what 2T and 3T sizes mean...it was a dive in the deep end my friends!
I distinctly remember one Saturday where Chris had gone to an Iowa football game with his dad and I had been alone with the girls all day. He walked in the door, and I walked into the bedroom...and didn't come out the rest of the night because I couldn't stop crying. The next morning at church I promptly broke down to two of my good friends...poor girls didn't know what was coming!
And then...just like that...after stealing our hearts and our sleep and our sanity...they were gone.
We decided not to take any potentially long-term cases until after the pregnancy/debt payoff, so have just been doing respite care on weekends since then. But wow...it really threw me! I really struggled with lies from Satan about being weak and inadequate (which is also, the absolute Truth! Without the power of the Holy Spirit, I AM weak and inadequate! But, I didn't rest in His power the way I know he has purposed us to). It also showed me (yet again!) how idealistic I can be. We will be much more ready for "the crazy" next time it comes, and are praying that God will make it very clear to us when that should be. :)
There were so many contributing factors that made that time pretty stressful. First, I was in the "extreme exhaustion" phase of early pregnancy. You know, the stage where no one knows yet and you have to pretend like everything's great, but really you could sleep all day every day and still be too tired to carry on a coherent conversation?! Yep, that one. I was also in the beginning stages of my short and sweet nausea weeks, which just made for a less tolerant Nicole in general.
Second, I had just found out that I had a large ovarian cyst as a result of my pregnancy. At that point it was pretty painful and they were talking about the possibility of doing a surgery, which did NOT put my overloaded new-mama mind at ease! It's all turned out to be a big nothing, but at the time it was a definite addition to this stress mess.
Then, add in the fact that it was the beginning of the school year and both Chris and I were working full-time. It shouldn't have been a surprise to me (seeing as I KNEW we were both going to be working full-time!), but it was definitely not easy adding 3 girls to our lives and starting off a school year well.
Throw in 3 emotionally charged girls who had just been ripped away from everything they knew, and you wind up with a crazy situation for a while. It was much more difficult than I expected!
Don't get me wrong - we both LOVED the girls. Oh my word, they were so sweet...totally stole our hearts. However, there were 3 of them, and we had never been parents before! We were suddenly having 3 hungry, picky bellies to feed 3x a day...suddenly changing diapers and sheets from bed wettings...suddenly learning what 2T and 3T sizes mean...it was a dive in the deep end my friends!
I distinctly remember one Saturday where Chris had gone to an Iowa football game with his dad and I had been alone with the girls all day. He walked in the door, and I walked into the bedroom...and didn't come out the rest of the night because I couldn't stop crying. The next morning at church I promptly broke down to two of my good friends...poor girls didn't know what was coming!
And then...just like that...after stealing our hearts and our sleep and our sanity...they were gone.
We decided not to take any potentially long-term cases until after the pregnancy/debt payoff, so have just been doing respite care on weekends since then. But wow...it really threw me! I really struggled with lies from Satan about being weak and inadequate (which is also, the absolute Truth! Without the power of the Holy Spirit, I AM weak and inadequate! But, I didn't rest in His power the way I know he has purposed us to). It also showed me (yet again!) how idealistic I can be. We will be much more ready for "the crazy" next time it comes, and are praying that God will make it very clear to us when that should be. :)
1 comment:
Hi Nicole,
I just found your blog and this one caught my eye because my husband and I do foster care. I empathized with you completely because that was us too! We knew nothing about parenting or 2T or sizes of diapers or feeding kids or how to make a bottle. We've just completed 1 year of foster care and although it was a rough beginning, we love it. I see you have a little boy now of your own, but I'm so proud of you for being open to at least doing respite care. We need good people/parents like you!
As for your weakness, before I started foster care the Lord gave me the verse about "My grace is sufficient for you" - which is the only reason why I made it through last year. Don't listen to the lies. You're giving those kids a good home and they are getting prayed over which will change their future and destiny. Blessings to you sister in Christ...
Amber (Jacobson) Dahl
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