So, the decision is made - I'm OFFICIALLY staying home after this year!
This has been a much more difficult decision than I thought. Before I taught I always thought I'd stay home. THEN, I started teaching and loved it so much, I thought I'd for sure teach until kid #2 or 3. THEN, I got pregnant and learned about the logistics of having a kid (breastfeeding, schedules, what time he'd go to sleep) and started feeling really overwhelmed about doing both. THEN, I started learning how much I love my baby and would get totally emotional every time I thought about going to school and leaving him with someone else all day.
When the primary reason I wanted to keep teaching was so we could rock it out on money for another year, I realized that my priorities were TOTALLY messed up. So, Chris and I took a good long look at the budget, got a little creative, and decided that we could financially manage it if I stayed home next year. Decision made....right?!
I then started thinking about how sweet it would be if the school would be willing to let me work part-time. The job would split up really easily, and it would really be the best of both worlds! So, I asked...and they said no.
And SO - I am staying home! I've turned in my letter of resignation, sent out an e-mail to the teachers, told most of my classes. I'm currently finishing up my professional portfolio and working to get my final grades done and printed...then it's just end-of-the-year activities and I'm out of the working world for a while!
At first I felt really nervous (and sometimes still do). Having a kid has felt SO permanent (oh wait...because IT IS!!!), and I tend to gravitate toward change. However, as soon as we made the decision to have me stay home, I started dreaming about this next stage in life, and have gotten SO excited. While I know taking care of kids is basically a full-time job, I know I'll also be able to take care of our family better. Cooking, food planning, helping Chris and I maintain life (working out, quiet times), being intentional with relationships, getting more involved at church, deciding how we want to live life and then have the capacity/time/resources to make it happen. I'm also so excited to have a slower pace of life. While I thrive on the excitement and "push", I know there are some serious lessons I need to learn that CAN'T be learned as I'm rushing from one activity to another. I need to learn contentment in all things - the art of being still - the ability to see beauty in the ordinary - how to persevere through the mundane.
I was also really nervous to tell people at school - but it has been AMAZING. I'm quite a bit younger than most of the other teachers, and so hadn't realized that almost all of the female teachers stayed home with their kids at some point or another. And every one that I've talked to has affirmed our decision and said they wouldn't trade that time for anything. I even had a mom who didn't stay at home tell me that if she could, she would go back and stay home in a heartbeat.
The other thing that has affirmed this decision has been the kid's responses. They've been sad and said that they'll miss me - but it has largely lasted about 3 minutes until they start asking about their next teacher. And I realized - elementary is SO different than high school! When I left Webster City I cried for weeks and weeks....and so did the kids! It was fairly traumatic, and I still have really strong relationships with some of those kids that I "left". But it won't be like that with this job - they'll love the next teacher and give me the same big hugs when they see me around town! That has made it clear that this is the right decision for us.
So there you go! I'm sure I'll have lots more to process as I make the transition, but for now I'm just pumped. :)
This has been a much more difficult decision than I thought. Before I taught I always thought I'd stay home. THEN, I started teaching and loved it so much, I thought I'd for sure teach until kid #2 or 3. THEN, I got pregnant and learned about the logistics of having a kid (breastfeeding, schedules, what time he'd go to sleep) and started feeling really overwhelmed about doing both. THEN, I started learning how much I love my baby and would get totally emotional every time I thought about going to school and leaving him with someone else all day.
When the primary reason I wanted to keep teaching was so we could rock it out on money for another year, I realized that my priorities were TOTALLY messed up. So, Chris and I took a good long look at the budget, got a little creative, and decided that we could financially manage it if I stayed home next year. Decision made....right?!
I then started thinking about how sweet it would be if the school would be willing to let me work part-time. The job would split up really easily, and it would really be the best of both worlds! So, I asked...and they said no.
And SO - I am staying home! I've turned in my letter of resignation, sent out an e-mail to the teachers, told most of my classes. I'm currently finishing up my professional portfolio and working to get my final grades done and printed...then it's just end-of-the-year activities and I'm out of the working world for a while!
At first I felt really nervous (and sometimes still do). Having a kid has felt SO permanent (oh wait...because IT IS!!!), and I tend to gravitate toward change. However, as soon as we made the decision to have me stay home, I started dreaming about this next stage in life, and have gotten SO excited. While I know taking care of kids is basically a full-time job, I know I'll also be able to take care of our family better. Cooking, food planning, helping Chris and I maintain life (working out, quiet times), being intentional with relationships, getting more involved at church, deciding how we want to live life and then have the capacity/time/resources to make it happen. I'm also so excited to have a slower pace of life. While I thrive on the excitement and "push", I know there are some serious lessons I need to learn that CAN'T be learned as I'm rushing from one activity to another. I need to learn contentment in all things - the art of being still - the ability to see beauty in the ordinary - how to persevere through the mundane.
I was also really nervous to tell people at school - but it has been AMAZING. I'm quite a bit younger than most of the other teachers, and so hadn't realized that almost all of the female teachers stayed home with their kids at some point or another. And every one that I've talked to has affirmed our decision and said they wouldn't trade that time for anything. I even had a mom who didn't stay at home tell me that if she could, she would go back and stay home in a heartbeat.
The other thing that has affirmed this decision has been the kid's responses. They've been sad and said that they'll miss me - but it has largely lasted about 3 minutes until they start asking about their next teacher. And I realized - elementary is SO different than high school! When I left Webster City I cried for weeks and weeks....and so did the kids! It was fairly traumatic, and I still have really strong relationships with some of those kids that I "left". But it won't be like that with this job - they'll love the next teacher and give me the same big hugs when they see me around town! That has made it clear that this is the right decision for us.
So there you go! I'm sure I'll have lots more to process as I make the transition, but for now I'm just pumped. :)
3 comments:
Nicole, I'm really happy for you! Happy that you feel mostly at peace with your decision. You will not regret it - especially in the coming months and after you finally get into a groove with your little man. I agree - i would stay home in a HEARTBEAT if it were possible right now!
Hope you enjoy the last weeks of your school year, Mrs. Farley :)
SO wonderful, Nicole!!! Being a stay-at-home mom has been the greatest privilege (and has been the greatest sacrifice!!)! I've learned not to apologize about staying at home...it has really changed my whole life and I'm so excited to see you go through the journey!!! Praying for you as you finish up your last few weeks at your job!!
Nicole,
I'm so excited for you and this next season of life. It was a really intellectually easy decision for me to stay home (thinking about all the benefits), but an emotionally hard one. Like you, I really liked my job - and for me, I have to admit - I had a tendency to put some of my value in being successful in my career - or at least comparing myself to friends who were on the career track. Now, two years after beginning to stay at home, it has been good for both my head AND heart. Sure, I have my days where I see an old high school classmate who's got their Ph.D. and I'm tempted to feel "less than"... but they are getting fewer and farther in between. I love resting in the truth that God has called me to this season - and that He is my boss in this new profession! :)
-Lindsay
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