Anyone ever feel like they got knocked out before the fight even started?
Today I'm totally stressed out. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I don't "do" details well, and I realized today that I have placed myself in a very, very, VERY high-detail job. Most of the time I can handle it. Today, not so much. :)
Note: with the exception of the other specials teachers, all the other teachers in the building have at least one "vent buddy" - someone who has a similar or identify schedule, similar challenges and frustrations, someone who understands what they're going through and can be a friendly ear. I, however, do not. Being the internal processor that I am (oh wait...not so much), I can usually hold it in and just deal. But inevitably the frustration builds and I make a mad dash to the hall where I promptly break down sobbing to the unlucky soul who picked the exact wrong time to take a quick bathroom break.
Today I only had a minor sob-fest with my principal. She was caring and compassionate (all the while probably searching frantically for the nearest exit), but as I was walking back to my room I determined that I will NOT break down at school again. It's embarrassing and unprofessional and just plain ridiculous. So, here I am - breaking down to the cyber world instead.
Here's my schedule (yep, gonna write the whole thing down, prepare to be bored!)
MONDAY: 1) 8:40-9:10, 2) 9:10-9:40, Plan, 3) 10:05-10:35, 4) 10:35-11:05, 5) 11:10-11:40, Travel, Lunch, 6) 12:30-12:55, 7) 1:00-1:25, 8) 1:30-1:55, 9) 1:55-2:20, 10) 2:20-2:45 Plan, Bus Room
TUESDAY: 1) 8:45-9:10, 2) 9:15-9:40, 3) 9:40-10:05, 4) 10:05-10:30, 5) 10:35-11:00, 6) 11:00-11:25, 7) 11:25-11:50, Lunch, 8) 12:30-12:55, 9) 1:00-1:25, 10) 1:30-1:55, 11) 1:55-2:20, 12) 2:20-2:45, 13) 2:45-3:10, Bus Room
WEDNESDAY: 1) 8:40-9:10, Plan, 2) 9:40-10:10, 3) 10:10-10:40, 4) 10:40-11:10, 5) 11:10-11:40, Travel, Lunch, 6) 12:30-12:55, 7) 1:00-1:25, 8) 1:30-1:55, 9) 1:55-2:20, 10) 2:20-2:45 Plan, Bus Room
THURSDAY: 1) 1) 8:45-9:10, 2) 9:15-9:40, 3) 9:40-10:05, 4) 10:05-10:30, Plan, 6) 11:00-11:25, Plan, Lunch, 7) 12:30-12:55, 8) 1:00-1:25, 9) 1:30-1:55, 10) 1:55-2:20, 11) 2:20-2:45, 12) 2:45-3:10, Bus Room
FRIDAY: 1) 8:40-9:10, Plan, 2) 9:40-10:10, 3) 10:10-10:40, 4) 10:40-11:10, Travel, 5) 11:30-11:55, Lunch, 6) 12:30-12:55, 7) 1:00-1:25, 8) 1:30-1:55, Plan, 9) 2:20-2:45, Plan, Bus Room
And I am completely overwhelmed! I know that once I get into it (hopefully?!) it won't be quite so daunting, but it feels pretty crazy right now. We added another section of Kindergarten which adds two classes to my schedule from last year. AHHHHHH!
It's going to be interesting to find a balance between "mere survival" and "doing this job well". I have a hard time doing anything less than my best (thanks to mom and pops), but for the first time, I feel like that may not be possible. Or, it may drive me crazy. I guess the real question is "What would I need to give up" in order to my best, and "Is it worth it?"
Anyway, there's my rant. I'm sure there will be more to come later, but for now I'm heading to bed! First day of school tomorrow...still have butterflies in my tummy just like 1st grade. :)
Today I'm totally stressed out. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I don't "do" details well, and I realized today that I have placed myself in a very, very, VERY high-detail job. Most of the time I can handle it. Today, not so much. :)
Note: with the exception of the other specials teachers, all the other teachers in the building have at least one "vent buddy" - someone who has a similar or identify schedule, similar challenges and frustrations, someone who understands what they're going through and can be a friendly ear. I, however, do not. Being the internal processor that I am (oh wait...not so much), I can usually hold it in and just deal. But inevitably the frustration builds and I make a mad dash to the hall where I promptly break down sobbing to the unlucky soul who picked the exact wrong time to take a quick bathroom break.
Today I only had a minor sob-fest with my principal. She was caring and compassionate (all the while probably searching frantically for the nearest exit), but as I was walking back to my room I determined that I will NOT break down at school again. It's embarrassing and unprofessional and just plain ridiculous. So, here I am - breaking down to the cyber world instead.
Here's my schedule (yep, gonna write the whole thing down, prepare to be bored!)
MONDAY: 1) 8:40-9:10, 2) 9:10-9:40, Plan, 3) 10:05-10:35, 4) 10:35-11:05, 5) 11:10-11:40, Travel, Lunch, 6) 12:30-12:55, 7) 1:00-1:25, 8) 1:30-1:55, 9) 1:55-2:20, 10) 2:20-2:45 Plan, Bus Room
TUESDAY: 1) 8:45-9:10, 2) 9:15-9:40, 3) 9:40-10:05, 4) 10:05-10:30, 5) 10:35-11:00, 6) 11:00-11:25, 7) 11:25-11:50, Lunch, 8) 12:30-12:55, 9) 1:00-1:25, 10) 1:30-1:55, 11) 1:55-2:20, 12) 2:20-2:45, 13) 2:45-3:10, Bus Room
WEDNESDAY: 1) 8:40-9:10, Plan, 2) 9:40-10:10, 3) 10:10-10:40, 4) 10:40-11:10, 5) 11:10-11:40, Travel, Lunch, 6) 12:30-12:55, 7) 1:00-1:25, 8) 1:30-1:55, 9) 1:55-2:20, 10) 2:20-2:45 Plan, Bus Room
THURSDAY: 1) 1) 8:45-9:10, 2) 9:15-9:40, 3) 9:40-10:05, 4) 10:05-10:30, Plan, 6) 11:00-11:25, Plan, Lunch, 7) 12:30-12:55, 8) 1:00-1:25, 9) 1:30-1:55, 10) 1:55-2:20, 11) 2:20-2:45, 12) 2:45-3:10, Bus Room
FRIDAY: 1) 8:40-9:10, Plan, 2) 9:40-10:10, 3) 10:10-10:40, 4) 10:40-11:10, Travel, 5) 11:30-11:55, Lunch, 6) 12:30-12:55, 7) 1:00-1:25, 8) 1:30-1:55, Plan, 9) 2:20-2:45, Plan, Bus Room
And I am completely overwhelmed! I know that once I get into it (hopefully?!) it won't be quite so daunting, but it feels pretty crazy right now. We added another section of Kindergarten which adds two classes to my schedule from last year. AHHHHHH!
It's going to be interesting to find a balance between "mere survival" and "doing this job well". I have a hard time doing anything less than my best (thanks to mom and pops), but for the first time, I feel like that may not be possible. Or, it may drive me crazy. I guess the real question is "What would I need to give up" in order to my best, and "Is it worth it?"
Anyway, there's my rant. I'm sure there will be more to come later, but for now I'm heading to bed! First day of school tomorrow...still have butterflies in my tummy just like 1st grade. :)
3 comments:
You are going to do great. You always do! You are such an encouragement to me and I hope to come somewhat close to being as good of a teacher as you are someday. I LOVE YOU and can't wait to hear all about it tonight!
Yowzers, you teach 10 classes a day plus traveling?!?! That is crazy! You will be a great job, not even necaessarily because you will remember all the details perfectly, but because of WHO you are. The kids will love you and they will learn. And your principal I'm sure thinks you are amazing too!!
I love you and think you are an inspiration to all that you come in contact with.
Your schedule makes me want to cry. Ughh... you have no breaks! Gen. Ed teachers have lunch, recess x2+ and specials so it's no wonder you can't connect on this level, you poor girl! your schedule IS nuts.
Do what you can Nicole. Do what you can to make your life happy and to make Chris happy. It's OK if we're not always giving 100%, it's OK if we're not always going above and beyond, it's OK not to be perfect.
I LOVE you dear sister and I second everything the above two woman said.
These kids are learning from one of the best and they are learning form someone that cares and loves them. You're an incredible music teacher!
Post a Comment