Anyone ever feel like they got knocked out before the fight even started?
Today I'm totally stressed out. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I don't "do" details well, and I realized today that I have placed myself in a very, very, VERY high-detail job. Most of the time I can handle it. Today, not so much. :)
Note: with the exception of the other specials teachers, all the other teachers in the building have at least one "vent buddy" - someone who has a similar or identify schedule, similar challenges and frustrations, someone who understands what they're going through and can be a friendly ear. I, however, do not. Being the internal processor that I am (oh wait...not so much), I can usually hold it in and just deal. But inevitably the frustration builds and I make a mad dash to the hall where I promptly break down sobbing to the unlucky soul who picked the exact wrong time to take a quick bathroom break.
Today I only had a minor sob-fest with my principal. She was caring and compassionate (all the while probably searching frantically for the nearest exit), but as I was walking back to my room I determined that I will NOT break down at school again. It's embarrassing and unprofessional and just plain ridiculous. So, here I am - breaking down to the cyber world instead.
Here's my schedule (yep, gonna write the whole thing down, prepare to be bored!)
MONDAY: 1) 8:40-9:10, 2) 9:10-9:40, Plan, 3) 10:05-10:35, 4) 10:35-11:05, 5) 11:10-11:40, Travel, Lunch, 6) 12:30-12:55, 7) 1:00-1:25, 8) 1:30-1:55, 9) 1:55-2:20, 10) 2:20-2:45 Plan, Bus Room
TUESDAY: 1) 8:45-9:10, 2) 9:15-9:40, 3) 9:40-10:05, 4) 10:05-10:30, 5) 10:35-11:00, 6) 11:00-11:25, 7) 11:25-11:50, Lunch, 8) 12:30-12:55, 9) 1:00-1:25, 10) 1:30-1:55, 11) 1:55-2:20, 12) 2:20-2:45, 13) 2:45-3:10, Bus Room
WEDNESDAY: 1) 8:40-9:10, Plan, 2) 9:40-10:10, 3) 10:10-10:40, 4) 10:40-11:10, 5) 11:10-11:40, Travel, Lunch, 6) 12:30-12:55, 7) 1:00-1:25, 8) 1:30-1:55, 9) 1:55-2:20, 10) 2:20-2:45 Plan, Bus Room
THURSDAY: 1) 1) 8:45-9:10, 2) 9:15-9:40, 3) 9:40-10:05, 4) 10:05-10:30, Plan, 6) 11:00-11:25, Plan, Lunch, 7) 12:30-12:55, 8) 1:00-1:25, 9) 1:30-1:55, 10) 1:55-2:20, 11) 2:20-2:45, 12) 2:45-3:10, Bus Room
FRIDAY: 1) 8:40-9:10, Plan, 2) 9:40-10:10, 3) 10:10-10:40, 4) 10:40-11:10, Travel, 5) 11:30-11:55, Lunch, 6) 12:30-12:55, 7) 1:00-1:25, 8) 1:30-1:55, Plan, 9) 2:20-2:45, Plan, Bus Room
And I am completely overwhelmed! I know that once I get into it (hopefully?!) it won't be quite so daunting, but it feels pretty crazy right now. We added another section of Kindergarten which adds two classes to my schedule from last year. AHHHHHH!
It's going to be interesting to find a balance between "mere survival" and "doing this job well". I have a hard time doing anything less than my best (thanks to mom and pops), but for the first time, I feel like that may not be possible. Or, it may drive me crazy. I guess the real question is "What would I need to give up" in order to my best, and "Is it worth it?"
Anyway, there's my rant. I'm sure there will be more to come later, but for now I'm heading to bed! First day of school tomorrow...still have butterflies in my tummy just like 1st grade. :)