Truths for the HEART

Since we've been back in the states, both Chris and I have been on an emotional roller coaster. We're finally able to understand what God is doing in our life, what anxieties are holding our hearts, how we're being changed. Our old selves stare at us everywhere we go....through our family's eyes, through our friend's eyes, through my student's eyes. It's both exciting and exhausting to see the changes, especially since they're so far from complete. Being half way through one of God's "transitions" is hard!

For example, we've been surrounded by poverty, hunger, material simplicity for the last six months. I do, without a doubt, struggle with the sin of materialism...I have always wanted more than I have. So, I'm VERY excited to see that God has been slowly changing my heart this semester. The problem: He's not quite finished. :) I picture the end product as realizing things will never fill a void and therefore not desiring them. Right now I have the first half...but I still desire stuff. :) GRR!!!! It's actually really maddening, because my convicted heart and untrained head are at war all the time...and I'm therefore experiencing random feelings like jealousy, resentment, guilt, regret, pride, etc. etc. etc. I'm a basket case!

On another note, God has revealed some beautiful truths to my heart over the last few days.
Chris and I will be faced with a lot of decisions in the near future, and it's been feeling pretty daunting and scary. What if we choose wrong? What if we misunderstand God's leading and let our personal emotions get in the way? Yesterday morning God spoke to my heart through a bible study on the Promises of Wisdom. I've heard and prayed these verses before, but yesterday morning it was like my heart settled on this truth..."wisdom is worth more than all riches." "Really?" "YES! Wisdom is worth more than all riches!" Because God decided to bless us with financial hardship lately, my heart was open to this truth. Wisdom is worth more than ANYTHING!

And so, I started asking. Just one morning of asking, one day full with silent pleas for understanding and discernment, only one day to chew on the scripture so far...and it has made all the difference.

God woke me up this morning, and my FIRST thought was that I got to have time with Him. Friends, that hasn't happened since my sophomore year of college! I've been in spiritual distress for years...I've been praying and asking God to bring me out, to take my heart again, and it's slowly happening...and it feels so good.

Here's what He gave me this morning:

Lamentations 3:22-33

"Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore, I will WAIT for Him."

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him. It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. I t is good for a man to bear the yoke while He is young.

Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust - there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace.

For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, for great is His unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men."

Truths for the heart:
1. The Lord is good to those who seek Him.
2. It is GOOD to wait quietly for the Lord.
3. It is GOOD for a man to bear the yoke while He is young.
4. The Lord brings grief...but He WILL show compassion.
5. God does not willingly bring affliction to His children (so when He does, it must be for a strong purpose!).
6. GREAT is his unfailing love.

I'm believing every one of those truths this morning, with my whole heart. It feels really good. :)