Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Dreams...and WHY?

So, I dream all the time. Sometimes it gets in the way of life...sometimes it seems like I'm never content...sometimes I'm not content...sometimes I forget to love where I am now...sometimes I get really annoyed at people who are so content with where they are...but mostly, I guess I love that I love to dream. Want to know my biggest dream right now? My biggest dream lately is about our close future. In January we're going to an Overseas Teaching Fair. Now, only God knows what's going to happen, but the possibilities are ENDLESS. Tonight I'm working on my cover letter/resume/references. Tomorrow I'll start e-mailing them to administrators in Austria, Switzerland, Greece, Spain, China, Thailand, and on and on and on. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!

I love this quote. "Some people look at things that are and ask, "Why?" Others look at things that have never been and ask, "Why not?"

Here's what I love most, though. God has surrounded me with people that love to ask "Why". For example, Christopher. He's the one that spends hours examining how our house is wired, because (apparently!) it's wired COMPLETELY wrong and we could burn down at any second! (an exaggeration, but close!). He's the one that actually knows that there are 2 Koreas...and one is DEFINITELY better to live in than the other one (knowing me, I'd just say yes and find myself in a communist country!). My best friends ask "Why do you want that?" I say, "Huh...I guess I don't know!" WHY do I want to live overseas? WHY do I want to learn another language? WHY do I teach music to high schoolers? I guess, the WHY is important too.

Monday, October 20, 2008

A Panic Attack: Why?

Tonight was our first choir concert of the year. Wow. I was a WRECK up until the very last chord of the last song, and then a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe again. But what I can't figure out is, WHY?

My one choir refuses to really work during choir, so I thought the concert was going to be horrible. And I got after them and after them and after them...and they gave me nothing. But tonight, they bust out an amazing performance at the concert and I'm confused. Questions just running through my mind.

1. What do I REALLY want my students to learn? Performance skills, responsibility, work ethic, a passion for music?
2. When is it RIGHT to be angry?
3. How do I be angry without being hurtful or making it personal?
4. WHAT'S THE BALANCE?
5. How do I be a great teacher and be godly?

Let's face it...teaching is hard! Today I was an emotional wreck...the janitor said something to me and I broke down crying. A student stood up on a chair and I flipped out. My husband asked if I could get a video tape from school and I had a panic attack. Boys forgot to wear black dress shoes and I briefly (and insanely) considered cutting them from the program! WHY?! I've decided...I take the little things personally, and suddenly little things become not so little.

HOW do I care enough about my students to actually make a difference, without letting it control my life? Can there really be a separation between professional and personal? Can I be the teacher I WANT to be without making it personal? How do I involve myself personally, so I can affect them on a personal level, AND keep things professional, so they learn what I'm teaching? Why is this hard? How do I see Jesus in all this? How do I BE Jesus to these students?

I guess, it's just hard. I've prayed for wisdom more this year than ever, and I guess I'm just going to keep praying. But I guess, life is supposed to be hard...that's when we're challenged to figure out the "why" in life, huh?

Saturday, October 18, 2008

The Initial Blog

So, I've decided to join the ranks, and get my own blog. Most of you that know me will know that "maintaining" and "keeping up on life" are not my strong suits. I hate even brushing my teeth...how boring! But, I've removed blogging from that genre, and here I am! I know, I know...lucky you.

Here's everything you'll never want to know about me!

A Few of My Favorite Things:
1. Thin Mint Blizzards
2. Hot Apple Cider on a cold day
3. Fall
4. The smell of country
5. Family
6. Cozy sweaters
7. A page-turner novel
8. Eric Whitacre choir pieces
9. Cuddling with the hub
10. Puppies
11. Hanging with best friends

My Job: Choir director at Webster City

My Passions: People, family, Jesus, traveling, music, organizing stuff, scrapbooking, phone talking, painting rooms.

My Hub: Chris is my favorite person in the WHOLE WORLD, and is my rock in this world. What would I do without him? Don't know!

My Life: I get up early, teach all day, stay after school, clean, and go to bed late. Between everything, I DREAM. Oh yeah, and I get summers off. :)

And, that's that. Check back later, gators!