Deep Breath...Type.

Wow. This has been a long time coming.

Life lately has been great...hard...challenging...transitional...joy-filled...family-filled...crazy-filled.

I've been processing old experiences, places, people, and memories with an entirely new set of eyes. Sometimes I feel excited, but most times I just feel exhausted. While we were in India I was able to change without really realizing the extent of my changes. Now that I'm home, however, I'm staring the changes right in the face, along with a context to recognize them for what they are.

The problem, though, is that I still don't know how to apply them. We've been living with my parents since we got back, so we still don't have our own space, time, or money. And, while we're transitioning back into American culture, we're also in a new home culture (living with my parents). Chris and I were basically on our own for the last year...now we're never alone. This is definitely factoring in to our ability/inability to process all these changes together.

*Let me clarify - I LOVE living with my parents, and thank God daily for His provision through them.  It would have been SO difficult and stressful to have had to find a place to live right away, not to mention get into the swing of full-adult life during this transition.  But with the many, many positives, there are also a few things that make our situation hard.

We've slowly been contacting the people from our lives pre-India, and it feels so good to be in close contact with people we love again! I've been able to recognize some Truths I now believe that I hadn't before, as well as an increase in general confidence, which is SO exciting!

And...we're both working! I started my job at Roland-Story elementary school two weeks ago, and have loved every minute of it. It's pretty exhausting, but I'm with kids again and am learning new things every day. And the best part - these kids are AWESOME!  While I do like teaching elementary a lot more than I thought I would, it's just not "perfect" for me.  BUT, the schedule is perfect (no mornings/nights/weekends, not much take-home work), and there's very little stress....so who knows!

The Lord answered SO many prayers, and gave Chris a job in the Marshalltown School District working as a computer guy. He really likes his boss, and it seems like the perfect "stepping stone" into the job he wants in the long run (Tech. Director for a school district). It's a long drive (an hour), and he has to work from 7-4:30...so his day is usually around 12 hours. Needless to say, we're both tired, but very thankful for jobs that we love and that will pay the bills!

Other than that, I'm just taking one day at a time. There are some days that I feel crazy, and other days that I feel totally normal. Some days that I feel like I could change the world from Iowa, and other days that I deeply mourn "losing" India for now. Some days that I feel like giggling with my kindergarteners and loving elementary kids is a beautiful purpose, and other days that I scream inside to be doing and experiencing more. So again - just one day at a time. :)

Other random thoughts...

- Our friends Cookie and Dave have moved back to the U.S. after facing a diagnosis of cancer in India. We're SO excited to be able to visit them, but obviously our hearts are heavy as we're thinking about them and the struggles they're going through.

- We've been having some pretty intense family struggles on both sides of the family, which of course intensifies any emotions we're naturally feeling during this transition.

- I get to play with my doggies every day!!!

- I miss my India family. :(

- I've been running! Surprisingly, I've been completely consistent. I think it feels like one of the few stable things in life, and I've been really loving the physical exertion to get my mind off things. This week I'm up to 20 miles...and it'll just keep going!

-One of my good friends Lana got married this last weekend - beautiful, beautiful!

- We're going on a mini-family vacation this weekend to a Twin's game, then wedding dress shopping for Amy and up to my aunt and uncle's cabin in northern Minnesota with some extended family.  Should be a great time of getting away!  And, we get to go to breakfast with the Endo's (a family from Woodstock) on Saturday morning!  YAY!

- We've gotten to go boating with Chris' dad and brother's a family times - SO MUCH FUN!

- My mom makes my lunch every day. :)  And, today she added a napkin with a note on it.  I love you mommy!

Okay, that's about all I can handle for right now.  I'll continue to try and share my thoughts as they are clarified...but no promises on when that's going to happen!  Just taking one day at a time. :)

Finally...Ireland

HOLY COW!

So, life has been absolutely insane over the past 8 weeks...two months of insanity, and not an "end date" in sight!  When I say insane, however, I also mean awesome, life-changing, challenging, exhausting, unbelievably joyful, overwhelmingly emotional, and ultimately beautiful.  Needless to say, I'm still processing and struggling to understand things, but sometimes I have no idea what I'm feeling.  In addition, my biggest processing buddy (Chris, a.k.a my love and best friend!) is ALSO going through these intense emotions, and has no idea what HE'S feeling!  So, with that being said, I'm going to post about something easy and understandable...Ireland!

Ireland was GREAT!  Tom and Yvonne were overwhelmingly generous, and we had such a great time being together again and meeting our first nephew!  Some of the trip highlights include...

Seeing Amy get ENGAGED...

 Riding in a horse-drawn carriage...

Being with family...

 

Driving around the Ring of Kerry...

 Hanging with my girl, Rach...

Surfing...

Going to an Irish musical/folk story...

Holding Ben...

Visiting the Cliffs of Moher...

Having a special date night...

Riding horses on the beach...

Wandering through quaint Irish towns...

Kayaking in the ocean...

 Eating dinner in a castle...

It was truly a dream trip, and I am SO thankful and blessed to be part of such a wonderful family.

Counting Blessings...

It seems like we've had many reminders to count our blessings lately...just thought I'd share a few...

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Tonight we got an e-mail from our friend Kate at Woodstock, telling us of the major flash flooding going on in Leh, Ladakh (where we went on our trek).  Apparently whole villages have been buried in mud, and while there are about 150 deaths so far, there are predicted to be many, many more.  Please pray for this community!  Check out the story here.

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A Woodstock alumni and humanitarian in Afghanistan was murdered, along with his group.  He had lived in Afghanistan for almost his entire life, and it's apparently hitting the community at Woodstock pretty hard.  Check out the story here and here.  

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Our dear friend from Woodstock, Cookie Wiebe has been diagnosed with ovarian and uterine cancer.  She's asking for prayer from anyone who is willing, and so I thought I'd post it here.  She has so much peace during this time, but I can't imagine going through treatments in India, being away from family and friends, and being forced to suddenly stare mortality in the eye.  If you're a "prayer" please join us!!

Here's her latest mass e-mail update...

I had my post-op doctor's appointment yesterday and am healing well from the surgery.  I have been walking in a nearby park up to three kilometers in the mornings before it becomes unbearably hot.  Life has become a series of adjustments.  Dave sets his laptop to play folk music quietly for over an hour to help me fall asleep. Overall, I've been sleeping well, though it tends to take another pain pill around 3:30 am to get me through the night.  I take a nap every day.  Television/movies (even bad action movies) have become a welcome distraction when I'm uncomfortable.  I try to write/answer emails in the morning when I feel best.  I eat slower and eat less.  I've given up on ever having a flat stomach :-), though I look less "pregnant" as the swelling from surgery goes down.  I think I'll go bare headed when I lose my hair.

The cancer has definitely gotten a good grip.  If they had had a bed/chair available yesterday, I was willing to start chemo on the spot. Maybe I'm turning into a bit of a hypochondriac, but some days I think I can feel cancer's crablike claw pulling at my innards.  Depending on the origin (ovarian or endometrial./uterine), I am either stage three or stage four.  Tests show the cancer cells to be poorly differentiated.  This (if I understand correctly...) means both that it is harder to identify the origin and that it is a more aggressive, fast-growing cancer. However, the chemotherapy doctor also said that fast growing cancers often respond well to chemo.  This is what we hope and pray for.

We have gotten a second opinion from a US gynecologic oncologist confirming the diagnosis and recommended treatment at this point.  We are carefully considering our options for where to have the debulking surgery done after the completion of three rounds (nine weeks) of chemo.  We have received some strong encouragement to COME HOME and are trying to figure out if that is in any way possible.  Pray for doors and windows to open.  If I do not respond to chemo, we will of course, come home immediately.  Pray that the chemo will be effective in reducing the amount of cancer, my life expectancy is directly tied to this! 

I will have my first chemotherapy treatment Monday morning, August 9th.  They will check the CA 125 tumor marker so that it can be monitored to see the efficacy of treatment.  It will take 5-6 hours sitting in a recliner.  Of course, my first question is,  What if I have to go to the bathroom???  Having found a source of pukka (non-pirated) movies, I have stockpiled three to watch during the treatment, two Hindi movies and "Up in the air" with George Clooney - which I've been wanting to see for some time. 

We have train tickets on the Dehradun Shatabdi for Tuesday morning, the 10th, hoping the chemo side effects won't have kicked in too much yet.   If they have, my seat mates will have to listen to me throw up in a bucket for 6 hours.  For many people, the chemo side effects are consistent in their timing for when they kick in, what they are, and how long they last.  Whatever happens for the first round of treatment is likely to happen each time.  Train tickets are relatively cheap ($10), if I feel l lousy, we simply won't go that day.  

We thought about doing the other rounds of chemo at Jolly Grant near Dehra Dun, but after talking to the chemotherapy doctor here, decided we a.) really liked her (has US experience) and b.) think it is better to be consistent with the same doc.  Because of the train schedules, we will quite likely be able to come up one day, treat the next and go home yet that same day.  Pray that the side effects will be minimal and that I will be able to travel within a 24 hour window after treatments.

Again, our hosts Jack and Cate have been incredibly gracious.  I know it must be cramping their style to have guests for two weeks.  While we will pay our taxi/phone bills, we've certainly upped their grocery bill and electricity bill!  Praise God for their generous spirit!

Pray for Dave and all of the pressures/demands an ailing wife can put on a loving husband :-)  Pray for us as we return to Woodstock and negotiate the future.  Pray for Dave as he returns to claim his classes now being taught by others.  Of all the times to absent from Woodstock, this is one of the worst.  Due to visa issues, they were already short-staffed to start with.  Without access to substitutes (as in any US school district), it means there are a lot of Woodstock staff taking on extra classes and extra duties.  We hate having to add to their burden; the HR part of me really hates adding to the load!  Pray for the rest of the new staff to get their visas and get to India asap.  Pray for all of the overloaded staff.  Pray for administration coping with significant structural changes, an increase in student numbers and a teacher shortage - all at the same time.

Thank you for all of your loving prayers.  We certainly can "feel the love" coming from around the world.  It is truly amazing to hear of the connections being made as our situation is shared.    We are focusing on being open and honest with each other, difficult as it may be.  As in any kind of grieving, it is important not to make assumptions about how the other feels and to allow each other to think and feel differently.  Pray for us and our marriage to grow stronger through this experience.  We also know that our news has been shocking and difficulty for those who know and love us to accept.  Pray for our friends and families, that this will result in a deeper, more grounded faith and understanding of how God works.
 
Peace,
Cookie

Final Ladakh Pics: Camel Riding!!!

In Ladakhi conclusion: Our time in Ladakh was absolutely wonderful and is quite possibly my favorite place visited to date.  It was filled with God's glory, was relaxing, and was an intensely beautiful cultural experience.  Most interesting was meeting the people.  Everyone was friendly...even more than Iowa!  After living in India for a year, we felt very thankful to escape from the many stares and just get to learn about and laugh with the local people.

To finish up the visual trip review, I thought I should include some camel pictures.  It was a great time, especially since camels are indigenous to the region (it didn't feel like we were faking it!).  Thanks for coming with Amy!

Look really carefully at the spelling...can you find the spelling mistake?!